Sometimes

Sometimes this world seems so big. I can only be so small. Think about all the greatness this world holds. How many tiny specs of sands make a beach? How many droplets of water create an ocean, let alone a tear? I'm alone in this world. Sometimes I wonder who understands. There's no one to Under Stand. I stand on my own because I have to be strong. I have to grow on my own. I can't let someone pick me up because when it rains it's cliche. But I don't believe in gray clouds...I call them breaks. We all need them but sometimes we're too busy to notice the red in the eyes. I've bled twice as much because I can't sleep until I know someone else has lived. I've bled twice as much because I love until hate hates, and makes a compromise to love. I still bleed sometimes. Only when you notice death is close do you begin to live. But here, I'll let you in on a secret. "I'm not dying anytime soon. I think I might die one of these years" But truthfully, there is no time close that you'll have to close my casket. I'm alive, and learning to live on a daily basis. It's wonderful. I take breaks to smile back at Elementary Students who have been given no more options because they're just "bad" or have no sense. I have no cents now, so why pay me attention. That's why I give them attention...because no one else does. I'm just saying, life is precious...and so is her name. Love her even if days are as bad as you think it is. I think today is a good day. If not, then something must be wrong with me.

One

Song

Sometimes I get / di / zzy (thinking)
One day you’ll just let/ me / go
Leave / me / a / lone
With / no one to turn / to

I never thought / Love would / Be cold
I never thought / Love could / Be colder than ice

So cold my heart is ice
Still gotta keep up the fight
Keep on going right
A new day is in sight
I know this has to get better
I know this has to get better
It. Has. To. Get. Better

They say when it rains it pours
Don’t they know it also hurts?
I’m dumbfounded
Sunshine is clouded
My sky is no longer blue
It has lost its hue
I worry, who is still here
I worry, who still cares
I just stare at my reflection
I wasn’t expecting
This to be perfection
That’s why I’m in sections
In pieces of peace
This is my release
Please, warm my heart again
Warm my heart again

Free Verse Love

I have to love you the scripted way

Hold your hand everyday

Kiss your lips softly

Because that’s what the book says

I can’t walk alone, keep to myself

To be “good” I have to be like everyone else

Why not stand out,

Show the differences,

And see the wacky styles, when in comparison?

Why not?
Well, because the book makes predictions

What we should be

Giving us restrictions of what we could be

Why can’t we stop being actors reading a script,

And grow some balls and be a little different?

Because the book tells us not to

And frankly, we seem scared of it

The book needs to see an example of what true love is

So let’s give it a sample

Show how the connection really is

When the love isn’t being scripted

Don’t play by the rules; love me free verse

And I’ll be your side, for better or worst

Don’t blend in with the rest, be strong and stand out

Don’t be afraid to be the OUT crowd

Dig deep within and bring out originality

What makes you special gives you your individuality

Finally, I can see your true personality

When you’re not trying to be like me, he, she, we

Just you, to set your own standards

Make sure your voice is heard

Words of wisdom; divine truthfulness

Letting your tongue flow without being ruthless

This is how you behave

No more living up to what someone portrays

Today, you stray into the arms of reality

Break off the chains and free verse love me

I want you to love me in free verse

Because I’ll love you in Haikus

I will love you now,

Forever be there for you,

I love you always,

So let’s always write

Then we won’t be left with words unsaid

Maybe we can create alliterations

Always an answer after anyone asks about us

Us, Us, Us

You and me

I will be yours if you’ll be mind

I play with words so you’ll be in my thoughts

You are my thoughts because you let me live

I Carpe Diem,

Seize the day,

Not only with words but with feeling

I’m feeling

I’m feeling

I’m feeling like, maybe, I could possibly, somehow Poet love you

And it’s ironic that when I left home I met you

Only this time the scene wasn’t in a rhyme scheme

It wasn’t in a time line where lines times the signs made rhyme

Even then, when we were miles away the blues kept singing

And we just danced to the love written

Until the pen lost ink and I was left to love you

I free verse love you

J.R.

Heyyyyyyy!!

What’s good? How do you do?

Sucky. You?

Why? What’s up? Me. Just trying to poet.

Or just live.

Friends mommy and grandpa died and he’s

Like on the verge of killing himself…

You’re a poet. Your words speak the truth in a metaphoric way

Can’t talk to him? I want to help.

No I just try to write and half the time my mind is missing

So all you get is words.

Words of wisdom; truth, security.

That explains your feelings and how your mind works.

Complicated as you seem, you’re very easy to understand

Understanding; it is clear to those who can’t see clearly.

You see without having to see.

You know and you’re one of few that can read between my lines.

That’s power, not sure how you do it.

It’s fine; I’m settling him

Well if there’s anything I can do to help let me know.

I’ve lost a few.

Gotta keep them so I can continue to live.

Don’t read with my eyes.

My heart brings the connection.

Blind I am, yet I can see it all.

Deep down I think we share a soul.

I can feel your aches and the tickles.

We share something.

That I know for sure.

We blend in like camouflage.

Yet, if you blink twice we’re there on point.

Staring so deeply we wonder if we’re looking

Into you or directly back at us.

I’m unsure of how you entered my world

And are able to understand me more than I do myself, I think.

You’re getting close in days but I’ve been looking for me in years.

I now realize the meaning of your other half.

You know me. And that’s a great feat.

Thanks babe.

No problem.

You’re so soothing.

And I wonder how I sleep so good at night.

Because I snuggle with you…

The emptiness that stirs you awake is filled; void.

I feel my mind full with feelings.

I feel my heart full with something you might call love.

I call her love.

I sleep with my lucky blankie.

I am warm.

Your warmth makes me hot.

I need it to warm my heart.

So it won’t grow cold, freeze the love inside.

The love is for you, to keep you warm.

My heart is warm enough to keep you from being cold

But hot enough to burn others that get too close without permission.

I want to enter your heart.

Live there as long as rent doesn’t go up.

I know it won’t because you’re my roommate.

You’re my lover.

You’re mine and I am yours.

We’ll share what we can and we’ll find a way

To enjoy everything that’ll come our way.

I’ll open my door to my heart so you can begin to sleep like I do.

Love you.

J’adore

I can't write always.

Sometimes I cant write what I want to say
My thoughts are as plenty as the stars
but shy away like broken dreams
so if my steps cast a shadow don’t follow me,
because I’m hollow sheets
just words on nature to capture everything
but I don’t even know all the words in the world
so how am I to explain the emotions
feelings either hidden or on the surface, its impossible.
unable to create with ignorance
but if I choose to learn its on me
unless I pay enough to collect investments
although my pockets stay priceless
my memories go wasted in trash bins
ready for recycle, and then I begin, all over again
write to the question that questions that one
why is the reason to live to find a lively reason
to understand that stand that’s under felt
or under handed, or just under the feet
of people who don't respect life

Enjoying Enjoyment

Loves laughs.

I enjoy my life.

Things are good, and I can hold small moments of greatness in my memory.

It's all good.
I love.
I live.
It's life.

She's funny.

My BestFriend thinks she can cook a better Omlet than I can.

I find that funny.
Don't you?

One.

I Free Write.

I write for me
For the truth that never lies
For the security blank pages hold
Ever left a blank page in your book?
There’s so much in between those lines

I go horizon and travel the world
I let my ink take me away like a rivers’ water
I travel to under-developing countries
I travel to over-developing countries
I travel from one side of the world to the other side

I leave my words to follow me or go vacation
They love to serve so they chef
They cook for the feeding soul and hungry minds
I pay sense to those who pay attention

Pay attention, its one mic
I rock the mic so the only way the next poet can melt it is if they burn the stage
It’s rage; the red that calls next

First, a line begins by adding bodies
I don’t multiply sorry’s because there is justice
I’m locked up because of my changes
I don’t sing songs if I’m no longer alive
I pass down my words like a last name or a gene

It’s my seeds for those whose tree’s leave
I don’t stump the growth of less likely’s
I give respect so they grow courage
I’ll be the wizard at the end of the Yellow Brick Road

I’ll be waiting for my gift
It seems like I’ve done my part, let me receive
I’ll unwrap your dreams slowly
So when I open them, I can enjoy the suspense
Be my plot, we’ll climax towards a solution

Let’s love love, let’s hate hate
Let’s make sure we both get to live
I’m always in a story
You might find me somewhere in this world
Either way, I’ll always be there

Our Spirit, Discipline, Purpose, and Pride

When a problem arises people usually try one way to fix it.
We have different ways to look at problems to solve them.
With kids I give them other ways to be right.
We don't look much on the negatives.
We look more on the possitives and get a situation that's right for both sides.
We give these kids chances.
We let them understand; realize and live.
We give these kids insight inside what's in sight.
Nobody can say we don't try.
We do more than that.We listen and we tell them that's more than a possibility.
It's a chance.
Go prove yourself.
Be the out of what's in.
Go show the world you're not numbers.
Show them you're more than 1 in 100.
Be the you you know how to be.
We love you.
We learn to love you.
We love you.
Everything that makes you.
When you hurt we cry.
We die on the inside when you don't have that many people on your side.
We've been through the rides.
So we want to provide the information that gives you the most fun.
The most happiness; we are in your life so you can make our life better.
We overlook all that when we can't see the difference.
We feel it but we need to make sure we can see the greatness that you are.
You are great.
A star, afar you are and still somehow feel you.
Our kids, our students, our idealistic views that spirit, discipline, purpose and pride can live in all of us if we learn to love one another with our flaws, imperfections, and chaos.

I live with my mistakes but why can't I have someone who knows my flaws and admit it. Can you find someone who'll tell you what's wrong? Is your friend your half? Are you half full or half empty? I'm half thoughtful. I don't know if I should believe that you can find perfection where imperfection is looked as a sin. I have to be, seem, and dream like him. I need the most babes. "Babe, no it wasn't me...". I can't tell if I should marry and love or mary and stick it through the thick and thin. Do we win the game if we don't play it wrong? It's in all the songs. Stop and listen, hear what's in between the lines? I dine with wine to fine the dimes that align with me. But I'm wrong for saving others when more need the help. How many girls need to feel love to understand where happiness lies? Do they need it before they die? It seems like girls want love so they can feel whole, and males just want to be respected. The music sings what you listen to. You need to listen to what you're hearing. Sometimes the beat hides the knowledge people can't read through. I don't do see through because it's not that easy. Please see peace isn't about understanding what life is about but finding ways to make seem better. If you think out the box you find something someone's hiding. But if you find it you're wrong for not living through the fire. You don't want to get burned but to get burned is to feel the struggle and be able to survive. I can't survive with that in my mind. I'll die from too many thoughts thinking too much. My mind can't stand twisted roads or forked paths. I need direction. I need answers. I need questions. I need a reason. I need to believe. I need to learn. I need to like. I need to love. I need to hate. I need to be reasonable. I need vision. I need understanding. I need acceptance. I need blessings. I need hope. I need trust. I need life. Love. Happiness.

One.

I wonder what happens when you know so much. Like for example, how do the 5 percent-ers know so much? And somehow I feel as though I'm one of them. It scares me. How do I "know" so much? How do I understand so much? Maybe it's because I found myself. I know my limitations, my needs, my wants, my dreams, my, my, my life. And all I want in life is to find happiness. That is my goal. I want to have happiness for always and not just those "Kodak moments". I want to be different. I can't think like this society. I can relate or understand why the world is like it is now but I don't think I can follow it. How do I know this society is right for me? I haven't tried to live in other countries. Maybe I would better in Italy, or Japan, or Australia. Who knows? I don't and that's why I'm searching for that happiness. I'm looking for that feeling that you feel but don't know how to describe it. It's just good, or great, or awesome, or all smiles. That's what I want. I want to live like there's no tomorrow, but die like my tomorrow's where today. I want to find what I'm missing. I'm not missing anything materialistic but I'm missing that unknown source. Something I can't touch or see but something I can feel. If only my mind was strong enough to feel all three at the same time. Sometimes I can, depending on the situation and circumstance. That's another thing that scares me; how I can be one with my feelings and emotions. I don't get wrapped up in a lot of drama or chaos because I stay calm and view the scene in so many angles that I might just have made three different movies from just looking at it. Maybe that's just be, but I have to admit that that is some special power. I can decipher different thoughts, answers, or justifications and none of them could be right, but all of them could be possibilities. And when I speak of them no one understands and I'm left to be seen as crazy. Maybe you should try thinking outside the box. I just want you to understand...that's all.

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