One Thought

I met two ppl today...

One had a rose. Passin petals for hand outs. Tryin to find money for food when wats left was just lost petals.

One had a question of hand outs. I didn't know wat to do. I was on the train (metro rail) goin home. I was lost in my music. Just walking in and sitting down. I put my leftover food in the seat next to me under my City Year jacket. I sat there thinking about life. (Life is thoughtfully thought over by me and it means everythin that still needs to be done) I was waiting for my stop. Then, out of nowhere, I feel a tap on my back. I turned around, "Can I have your leftovers? Are you going to eat it for dinner?" "Yes, I am. Sorry, I don't have anything either." I turned around and kept listening to my music. I thought about it. It dawned on me, when is it a good deed, or just a good seed? Am I to help those that go hungry even when I'm starved? Am I to help those who need nourishment to grow a "pass it forward" ripple? I didn't know. So I just sat there. Stared at the floor and thought of my life. The train stopped at Brickell. It somehow paused, it didn't leave as quickly as it does. It hit me again, do things happen to me so I can be the Superman, the Super Hero? I'm no Super Hero. I'm just human. Then the doors closed and the train kept going. I thought about everything. I've been hungry for so long. Why should I share my niblets? Why should I trust someone that asks for hand outs when I'm always willing but unsure if its for the good part of being alive? But I heard his voice echoing, "Can I have your leftovers?" And it wasn't "can I have some money for food?" Is there a difference? I think there is. Food keeps the heart warm. It makes the hunger pains vacation for another day. Hopefully, they never come back. Before the train stopped I got my things together. I looked at my jacket, just the logo. City Year. I told myself that its my job to serve. That's why I joined. But am I always serving? I didn't think so. I got up, because my stop was next, and looked back. I saw their eyes. They had bags, litterly. Both under their eyes pregnant with sorrows and hopes as well as bags on their shoulders like their homes went wherever they roamed. It was a long day for both of us. I knew it too well. I stood there waiting for the doors to open. And I couldn't decide whether to give unto others or supply myself with fat for my bones. What happens when my bones dig their own graves? Maybe I'm just graved. Filled with choices when I didn't have them years ago. So I stumble backwards and then I knew it was for a reason. The doors opened. I thought about it again. And then I just...

If I'm in your dreams,
let me sleep so I can dream you into mine.
There we will meet and become one not only in verbs but with words.

Just tell me, so I know when to start dreaming.

I'll dream a dream that dreams its dreaming
because who thought it ever to be in your thoughts.
To live when everything else is asleep.
Yet, I lay awake wondering how did I walk so far into someone's home.
I don't know...but it feels good.

Just good. Not great because it's only that when you're around and not when I'm thinking.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, whatever happens in a dream is luck or a shock to me.
Never thought i'd meet you in my sleep.
Somehow I also find you in between lines hiding
so I'll never find out what your dream was really about.

I hope I never find out Just so my real self knows that I once was thought of.
Then when I lay in bed I can sleep counting that one time over and over as if it were petals on weeds.
See, I'm a broken down flower with thorns that are as old as my color.

I'll be your flower, even if it's broken by the stem.
Hold me tight when the wind blows and I'll never let you go.

My Hero (old)

My hero is amazing

She is as bright as the rays on midday summers
She controls minds with inaudible lips that euphonize
And when she speaks lullabies symphonize notes to paralyze attention
She can change moods with kiddie humor
She saves the world, well, more like a household at a time

My hero can do flip after flip, and still chase me down
She can elevate a frown so high heavens hues hover under toes
She is as strong as an Ox when knee scrapes pause play
Because she only stops to say, “Ouch. A boo-boo. Oh bubbles.”

With two year old fingers too small to grasp dreams she can make it seem as though reality is a reverie
My hero can protect me from days sorrow and give me hope for tomorrow
She stretches sediments of questions so wide answers swim across oceans floor
With no effort my hero can move mountains mounted on shoulders too frail to carry loads
She can tell tales that make you dress up like
She combines food with handshakes and handclaps to create a pastel of greens and whites to fill the floor

My hero’s hair contains curls combined with ribbons too cute for church
My hero can be found napping throughout the day
My hero comes with hugs and kisses after long days away
My hero just got out of diapers and I love her

A Hand Out

Hold my hand…
Its cold isn’t it?

Well, now I know how your heart feels
You know you don’t have to hurt anymore?
You don’t have to die anymore
You don’t have to cry anymore

I can take the blame
I won’t be Akon though

Songs just cycle,
Words just change,
And my promise promises

Who am I to tell you to believe in me?

Don’t believe in me
Believe in your heart
Believe the warmth hands bring when gloves have done their part
Let me know if you need another hand
I’ll call my friends and they’ll be our friends

Then if I’m along I can call you
Because I’ll know you’ll come around
And when the cycle recycles it will feel
As though everyone has been here all along

But then, the handouts won’t feel like hands out
Because my hand will be reaching up instead of out

Dream

Dreams

I once dreamt my house was heaven
Because my parents were Gods
And I was their angel

I’m sent back to hell though
When shell holes the lost souls in this world
I’m sent back to hell though
When I hear echoes of the Metro don’t let go
Don’t let go those who want to leave everything behind
Like the pellets in between the cracks of the city

Who knew a life can be gone in seconds?

One shot to the head
Because knowledge seemed too great
For him to know and another to accept as sense
They thought college wouldn’t take him
Farther than the sounds of sirens dancing in chaos
So who are they, Playas of the game?
No, hatas of the frame, raiders of new dreams
No more new teams, its just Old G
Back to the fights that battled the war

I’m sent back to hell
I’m sent back to hell
Who knew a life can be gone in seconds?

One shot to the heart
Because what he stood up for
Seemed too great to be discussed
When others loved to disagree on the lines of greed
They feed on teaching the wrong right
But what happens when they turn too many lefts?
Are they left back on the tracks that got them there in the first place?
There’s no replace for a face that just leaves traces

He still reached out for handouts
But found out that the lights after the tunnel
Wasn’t freedom but a revolver
Revolving around his head one final moment

He dreamt his house was heaven
His parents were Gods
And he was their angel

I can't write (sometimes)

I can’t write what I want
Seems like I don’t word because I want to feel it myself
I’m greedy, feed me, I’m needy, seed ye
I do tell read sees, I share what I read in seas
Lands also have my steps
Just watch them be washed away by waves
Faves stay engraved if paid to stay for help
Well, it ain’t hell even if shells melt the belts in males
Its hail to those who reign then pour their power
My showers tower over the fire to stop the wire from tire burns
It’s all satire, hi liars
This is all a parody, I savor thee
This is major greed, this is hater needs
I stay high top because I’m not old like high tops
I’m new like a brew for few sips to tip the waiter
I’m braver, you don’t need a soldier to hold ya’
Told ya my battles not over
I don’t hold an Ak, more like a may day
May one day you see what I see
Red in my eyes, not as a disguise for lack of sleep
More like a stack of beats
You can add my passion
Divide it to fractions but I got the action
Here’s my fashion,
I don’t wear the mansions
I wear the lacks in this state where real is being sold
I’m an estate, your land if you can’t find I at home
I’ll be your home if you need a door
Close your life to negativity
It’s all nice and no animosity
This has to be random words that curl up on lonely days
Hey, its just one of them only days
Only these days where words make sense
They work for money so they make cents
I’m bent up because I chill backwards
Never working too hard, more like enjoying the scars
It’s the war you live through the makes the far star closer than dreams deferred
I’m well preferred, well aware, here I’ll stop right here

I know what makes me tick, I know what makes me tock

I tick to the click of a pen that's brought to life
I tick to the tips of lips that testify
I tick to the hips that keep eyes open
Scoping a way into getting peace with pleasure
But that's what ticks me

The tock just mocks the sweet of ticks
The tock just locks itself in a life of lust
The tock just rocks the depressin' memories
Memorize the dark clouds, rainy days
But that's what tocks

Take a stop to look at this
This and that makes no sense when left alone
But that's what ticks, and that's what tocks.

I'm lost in a box to think inside of
Because that's society and it's eyeing me
Trying to see if they find a mistake within
But my life just ticks and tocks itself to death where I'm left without a choice
And I don't need one because I died trying to live
And that was my destiny